A lot of folks say they hate exercise, and I’d love to explore that a bit. If you think you hate exercise, what exactly is it that you hate?
For some people, it’s the feeling of being judged. Feeling like people are looking at you, worrying someone might say something hurtful, or feeling like you don’t belong. For others, it’s the physical experience. Maybe you don’t like feeling out of breath, getting sweaty, or being sore afterward. Other people hate walking into a gym and feeling “dumb,” like everyone else got a handbook on how all the equipment works and somehow you missed the meeting.
Or maybe it’s none of those things. Maybe it’s years of bad experiences in PE class. Maybe it’s being told to exercise because you “should.” Maybe every attempt you’ve made in the past ended with guilt, shame, or feeling like you failed.
Do any of those sound familiar? If they do, I wonder if there’s another question worth asking. What if you don’t actually hate exercise? What if you hate the experiences you’ve had around exercise?
I know that might sound like I’m splitting hairs, but I actually think it’s an important distinction. If what you hate is feeling judged, that’s a different problem than hating movement itself. If what you hate is being overwhelmed in a crowded gym, that’s a different problem. If what you hate is feeling like you have no idea what you’re doing, that’s a different problem.
And when we know what the problem actually is, we can start looking for solutions that fit that problem instead of assuming exercise just isn’t for you.
If judgment is the barrier, maybe working out at home feels better. Maybe personal training gives you the confidence to learn without feeling like you’re on display. Maybe a small group offers enough support that you don’t feel lost, but still gives you the space to learn at your own pace.
If feeling lost is the barrier, maybe what you need isn’t more motivation. Maybe you just need someone to teach you what to do without making you feel like you should already know it. If shame has always been part of your relationship with exercise, finding a coach who is genuinely supportive and nonjudgmental can make a much bigger difference than finding the “perfect” workout plan.
The fitness industry spends a lot of time asking, “How do we get people to exercise?” I think a better question is, “What’s making exercise feel so awful in the first place?”
The fitness industry might frame it as a lack of discipline or motivation, but sometimes the barriers to moving your body consistently aren’t about you at all.
Sometimes the barrier is the environment. Sometimes it’s the messaging. Sometimes it’s the experiences we’ve had that taught us exercise was something to fear, dread, or endure.
Now, am I saying everyone would love exercise if those barriers disappeared? Nope.
Some people genuinely don’t enjoy exercise, just like some people don’t enjoy cooking or gardening or watching football. That’s okay. You don’t have to love it. I think there’s a difference between not loving something and actively dreading it.
If we can separate movement from shame, judgment, intimidation, or feeling like you never quite belong, we create the possibility for a different relationship with it. Maybe you never become someone who can’t wait to hit the gym, but maybe you become someone who doesn’t spend all day dreading it. That can be a pretty worthwhile goal.
